Pie Flavors That the FDA Doesn’t Want You to Know About

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By the writers of The Pittiful News

Ever wondered what that would taste like? Now’s your chance! Try these pies before the FDA catches on!

  1. Blue raspberry pie
  2. Watermelon LiP SMACKER pie
  3. Dead grandma apple pie – This is real, so basically this girl in sculpture class said her favorite smell was apple pie, like it’s the only thing she eats, but like not any GARBAGE apple pie, no 7/11 apple pie and no Giant Eagle apple pie, none of your mother’s apple pie, I’m talking about the pie her dead grandmother made tons of and froze before she ate the recipe and died
  4. New York City pigeon pie
  5. Pion (a subatomic particle that consists of a quark and an antiquark and is therefore a meson – the lightest one – that has a lifetime of either 26.033 nanoseconds or 84 attoseconds and a mass approximately 270 times that of an electron)
  6. Some sweet, sweet cheddar cheesecake
  7. A tray of Orbeez (any flavor) with whipped cream
  8. An entire pineapple pizza