By Tyler Sikov, Savannah Teman, Abby Stoudt
Authors’ Note: We wrote this as two people who have only ever played Animal Crossing and one person who has only ever played Mortal Kombat
So, since the launch of Animal Crossing New Horizons in March, my life has become centered around Pietro the sheep. Every single night I close my eyes to sleep and I dream about him. My waking hours are filled with thoughts about his silly little clown face. I want nothing more than to have him live on my island and be my best friend and yet, he has yet to move in.
I spent hundreds of hours grinding to earn Nook Miles so that I could buy tickets to visit other islands and find Pietro and I just couldn’t find him. Friends offered to invite me onto their islands to ask their Pietro’s to move onto my islands and on the very day that I planned to ask him to move in, someone else took his place.
Needless to say, I was getting desperate. So, I decided to buy some amiibo cards off of eBay. I didn’t want it to come to this, but I needed the clown sheep on my island. I needed it more than I needed air to breathe. However, when the cards came in the mail, I noticed something weird: they were unmarked. I didn’t think anything much about it, only that I would have to scan them all to find the Pietro one; but when I scanned one into the game, I noticed something weird. They didn’t call a lovable sheep or cat or other similarly cute animal, they summoned Mortal Kombat characters who I couldn’t get to move out at all. Here are some of the weird things that happened once they moved in.
- My villagers can now perform x-ray fatalities
- Biff started greeting me with “Time to die, little man” instead of “MUSCLE MADNESS”
- Raymond has now begun to attempt Rolling Thunder (Raiden) on Peaches
- Scorpion has a peaceful home where he has many pet scorpions, then once he leaves his home he stabs people though their skulls with his chain knives
- Sahara the traveling carpet dealer is now only selling trait cards
- Isabelle’s business casual attire started to become a little more Kombat-casual
- The only way to get a five star rating is to fight every Jock villager in a grueling 76-on-1 match
- Tortimer has come back for final revenge on Johnny Cage
- The female characters all have tiddies
- Nightwolf has started killing my villagers to add their animal spirits to his army
- Tom Nook now routinely removes disobedient villagers spines and then impales them with their own spine
- Goro has now mated with many villagers to create a generation of villagers with four arms
- Timmy and Tommy swear now
- Kotal Kahn is now forcing all of the villagers to come to his talks about te Mongol Empire
- Absolute Zero froze the water around my island, collapsing the thriving fishing industry