What we are going to Wish for on the Wishbone this Thanksgiving

By the writers of the Pittiful News

85 best Snoopy images on Pinterest | Peanuts characters ...
  • Happiness 
    • I’d settle for any emotion though. I just want to feel something. 
  • Herlock Sholmes
  • Stockholmes Syndrome
  • Riverdale to be cancelled  
  • For shifting realities to be real so I can live out my script of living in a suburb of Las Vegas with my problematic fav, Brendon Urie 
  • For them to make really good vegetarian chicken wings that taste like the real thing. I miss chicken wings.  
  • To be able to have had my gay awakening at a Lizzo concert 
  • Mom and Dad to stop fighting  
  • A Spencer Reid spinoff series
  • All I want for Thanksgiving is you
  • Parents that are down for a ketamine hole 
  • Someone to hold my hand  
  • Someone who understands me
  • A coronavirus vaccine in the form of a chewy vitamin
  • Doc martins to go out of style and easy slip on slip off shoes to come back 
  • Wish for more cats like I do every year
  • Wish that less turkeys will die next year
    • This wish will be made on a tofurky bone
  • Good food, Thanksgiving food sucks, I need some actually good food or I will die, and you will die with me
  • Soup, I am a simple man, with simple needs, I just want soup.  
  • For Bella Hadid to stop existing so I can go back to being happy
  • A cool pair of socks :) 
  • Everyone to stop aggressively hating my doppelganger, Joey King for no reason. I can’t help but take it personally. 
  • Canned peas, not warmed
  • For Joe Biden to respond to my request to interview him
  • To wrestle with Dwayne the Rock Johnson
  • Help on my math homework, i need to get my scientific calculator say more funny non boob related words
    • 455 looks like *ss
  • For society at large to realize that calories are a social construct and definitely not a unit of energy involved in the laws of thermodynamics
  • To find $15 dollars in my coat pocket  
  • A dealer to fall in love with me so I don’t have to pay for oui’d 
  • Less gun deaths, idk guys that was a throwaway
  • My final papers to be written for me as I just look at my phone for 6 hours a day instead of putting in any effort at all
  • J.K. Rowling to stop being a transphobe so I can openly enjoy Harry Potter again. 
  • For our reptilian overlords to put us out of our collective misery
  • For people to stop believing that we are ruled by reptilian overlords. 
  • For less militias to patrol the streets so we can go back to the good old days of gang violence.  
  • For men to stop waking up and choosing violence 
  • The trial of Will Scheuster to finally happen. He must pay for his sins. 
  • Another wishbone
    • With which I will wish for another
      • And another
        • And another
          • And so on
            • Forever
              • Best wish ever
  • Gen-z to shut up about how great gen-z is. 
  • Charli to reach 100 million followers on tik tok. Idk I’m just rooting for her. 
  • A meghan trainor christmas album…wait, that wish came true! A Very Trainor Christmas is now available on all streaming platforms. 
  • A real life cat girl 

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s