An Incomplete List of Things to add to your Cereal

By Tyler Sikov and Sonya Acharya

 

  1. Water
  2. Orange juice
  3. Straight vodka
  4. The concept of time
  5. Every banger on the soundtrack of Shrek (2001)
  6. Your dog
  7. AAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH (a loud scream)
  8. Sap
  9. Pasta water
  10. The Cranberries
  11. A flight of craft beers from your nearest and most hipsterest craft brewery
  12. My dog
  13. Pepsi (Coke is Not OK)
  14. Bone hurting juice
  15. Blood
  16. A quad espresso and a large Red Bull
  17. The bible
  18. Maple syrup
  19. Candy corn
  20. Gasoline
  21. My friend Terri
  22. Almond milk, coconut milk, cashew milk, macadamia milk, and other nut milks
  23. Whole strawberries, like they do on the front of the box
    1. Wait this doesn’t taste good, who thought of this
  24. Barber Shop 2
  25. A collection of small toy soldiers who you are almost certain are planning an uprising against you
  26. Your Mom, cause she’s a snack
  27. A 3-D printed Save symbol, a.k.a. A floppy disc
    1. Wait, do kids still remember those?
      1. No, no they do not.
  28. Little tiny knives, to make breakfast more exciting
  29. A horcrux
  30. Salsa

 

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