Top 15 People Who Should Have Been Stabbed Instead of Caesar 😏🗡

Vincenzo_Camuccini_-_La_morte_di_Cesare

By the writers of The Pittiful News

  1. Alexander the Great: see library of Alexandria for details
  2. The “squish” lady’s husband from Chicago: he did run into that knife, he ran into it TEN TIMES 
  3. Becky from Poli-Sci: obviously
  4. [REDACTED]: [REDACTED]
  5. Susan from the back of the line at Costco: she took the last can of Lysol
  6. The old design of Sonic the Hedgehog™: why he got human teeth though
  7. The farmer from The Untitled Goose Game: he makes me have a tewwible-howwible-no-good-vewy-bad day
  8. Regina George: she is in my burn book
  9. Pittiful News Writer #7
  10. French dressing: it’s just so bad
  11. Susan from pilates: she is just too bendy and always shows it off
  12. Scrappy Doo: looking at him ignites my fight instinct
  13. Brutus
  14. Mamma Mia: here we go again, she’s been broken-hearted anyway
  15. Susan from book club who’s slightly racist

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