By the writers of The Pittiful News
So we all had Valentine’s Days. And they were pretty good days. Let’s play a game so you can engage with our good days – match the Valentine’s Day to the Pittiful News writer!
1. I think my boyfriend fed me old fish.
2. I had 2 Portuguese chicken sandwiches. With sauce!
3. I divorced my husband.
4. Three men made me dinner and I didn’t know any of them.
5. My boyfriend and I went to a nice restaurant. And he gave me like a nice balloon and flowers and stuff?
6. I played chess against a computer and I lost and I ate Zach’s pickle with a bunch of salami.
7. I made gingerbread cookies but they were really shitty and they gave me the toots ☹.
8. I gave a flower to the most important woman in my life – my mom.
9. I tipped my Uber driver twice.
10. My husband divorced me.
Jeff (Goldblum, honorary member)