Halloween Decorations That Say You’re a Spooky Witch Down to F***

By Megan Klein

Need a way to tell your crush that you’re totally cool to do “stuff” without actually saying anything? Let’s these Halloween decorations do it all for you!
  1. Candelabra – This one really says you know how to give good head. 
  1. Cobwebs – Ooooh, spooky! Show your casual hook-up that they’ll never be able to leave or escape you with these hot webs of lusty love
  1. A spooky doll – look at your crush, then look at your doll, then look back at your crush. Stare so deep into his eyes that your limbs begin to melt, and utter, “you have the same eyes.” He’ll be flattered, and blush.
  1. A wine glass that says “Witches Brew” – you did it! You’re officially a witch! How creepy chic of you! Now bewitch him into never leaving you. Before you know it, he’ll be proposing, then you’ll be married, then you’ll have five kids and he can never leave you for that nasty Brunhilda!
  1. A jack-o-lantern – carve your crush into a big ol’ orange ball and roast the pumpkin seeds into a heart. His heart. He’ll marry you instantly, and you’ll die on the same day at the same time lying next to each other
  1. Some spiders – real ones, so when they bite your crush, he turns into a mutant to everyone else, but stays beautiful to you so no crazy, crazy girl can fall in love with him. He loses all other sense of feeling, and becomes incapable of speech. He can only repeat, “I kiss you long long time”.

  1. A casual knife – Use it to cut some apples to a sweet cider!
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