New App Helps Avoid Old Classmates

Schmucks to be ducked

Don’t want to run into a high school acquaintance you know just enough to feel obligated to exchange small talk with while home for the break? Tired of ducking behind aisles in stores or looking away on the street upon seeing someone whose goings-on matter even less now because they never have?

“Don’t worry, you rude bastard, they probably feel the same way about you!” exclaimed Garry Snaroomph, inventor of the “Duck that Schmuck” smartphone app that collects location data from your friends’ smartphones and shows you all of their locations on the same map. When the app sees that two people put each other in the Black List, it sends both of them directions to safely avoid even seeing each other.

Snaroomph said that the instant success of his app has proven his hunch. He wasn’t the only one dreading the unexpected snack-aisle pretense of former friendship and present long-distance camaraderie or the curt nods at those he sort of wished to know better but had long since missed the last opportunity to do so.

“Duck that schmuck!” cried out Snaroomph, all giggles and stuff.

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s