Real-life Monster Lurks Around Pitt Campus

By Hannah Lynn

Last Monday started out like any other for sophomore Stanley Hudson until he saw a shadow lurking in the corner of the Cathedral basement. “I didn’t know what it was,” Hudson said. “I went to follow it down the hall because it didn’t look human, but when I turned the corner all I saw was a tail disappearing through the door.”

Earlier this year, upon the arrival of the new chancellor Patrick Gallagher, The Pittiful News reported the 100% true story that Mr. Gallagher is in fact a lizard person. What Hudson saw was not a lizard, not a man, but THE GALLAGATOR.


Several students have reported strange sightings like Hudson’s, but have brushed them off as casual hallucinations. However, their eyes are not playing tricks on them; the Gallagator is the truth.

When asked if the University of Pittsburgh Chancellor was actually a lizard man living in the basement of the Cathedral of Learning basement, an old man on the street hissed and spat onto the pavement.

Though halloween has passed, be wary of any mysterious shadows or figures. It could be nothing. It could be your mom. Or it just might be…the Gallagator.

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

w

Connecting to %s