We are (not) sorry to inform you that Richard Damey, a former Pittiful News reporter and writer, has been forever dismissed from the staff. Several of Damey’s articles were found to contain fabricated quotes and sources—a heinous crime in journalism. Damey admitted to have thought that he was being witty by making up quotes, that he was using a lie to show the truth, but to us it was still just a lie.
We here at the Pittiful News strive for quality investigative and news reporting, which in turn requires wholehearted commitment to the highest standards of journalism. Damey has violated these standards and thus your trust in us. We are truly sorry for this, and his dismissal is meant to show you where our loyalties and values really are. Our team of detail-obsessed professional fact-checkers has already begun attending an extensive series of fact-checking workshops focusing on catching the smallest inaccuracies before they reach the print again. We take these matters seriously and don’t want another smart-ass like Damey to undermine our reputation for hundred-percent truth.
We apologize yet again and promise to do all in our power to not let an incident like this happen in the future.
The Pittiful News Staff